The man of the house...

Challenge
-Write down and do 3 things that will make your husband feel like THE MAN

Responses...

Can your husband tell you anything?

What if he tells you he wants to buy a houseboat, own a goat farm, pursue an acting career in New York, is addicted to pornography, is being shown attention by a woman at work, has had an affair and is sorry, etc.?

How do you respond when your husband tells you his dreams?

How do you respond when he tells you his struggles?

Do you cry and pout?

Do you try to show him his irrationality?

Do you ignore him?

Do you support him?

Do you love him unconditionally and forgive him?

We are told to do well, and not to be afraid with any amazement or sudden calamity.

Your husband needs you.

You are his help.

Do not abandon him, physically, emotionally, or spiritually!

Challenge

-Look at how you have responded to your husband in the past

-Commit to supporting him in his decisions

-Commit to helping him in his struggles

-Pray for God to turn your heart toward your man

Pray without ceasing.

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thes. 5:17&18

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

1 Peter 3:6 (KJV)

Pick 3

Challenge
-Pick and do three of the following

Send him a text or facebook message praising him

Make a candle lit dinner

Brag about one of his accomplishments to someone, even if it's just your kid

Apologize if you have been putting it off, even if you are not completely at fault

Take a shower or bath with him

Make a heart shaped food as part of a meal

Do something to your appearance he will like

Do one of his chores for him

Wrestle

Clean out his car

Doodle his name while thinking about him

Tell him you still want only him

Be Strong

Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.

Joshua 1:9

-Challenge-

Dare to be an amazing wife today.

Honor, submit, reverence, thank, love and have fun with your man.

Be strong and of a good courage.

Do not be afraid.

Do not be dismayed.

God has commanded you to be a good wife

-and he is with you, wherever you go.

Assume the Best

Challenge
-Assume the best about your husband.

Think nothing negative about your spouse today.

Pray

Challenge
-Pray for your husband as many times as possible today.  

Help

Challenge
-Do three things that will be a help to your husband

e.g. Pay the bills, clean the area he spends the most time, mow the yard, love on him, change the oil, take the trash out, anything that he might normally do but you can do for his, or anything that would make his life easier or more pleasant.

Honoring Responses

Challenge
-Write down three ways you can change how you respond to your husband that will show a heart of honor and respect.  Now work on changing.

Peace over Perfection

Challenge
-Surrender to God and your husband.  

You don't know what God is using in your husbands life.  

Even if your husband makes what you think is a bad decision, let God teach him.  

It is not your place to nag, rebuke, correct, nudge, suggest, or question your man about his choices.

If he asks for your advice, give it to him honestly.

If he does not ask you, or even seem to consider you at all in his decision, surrender and submit.

God is in charge.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Eph 5:22 (KJV)

 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7 (KJV)

Expectations

Challenge

-Try to find out what your husband expects when he comes home and apply what you know to please him the next time he arrives

e.g. no clutter, the radio on/off, a meal on the table, the kids greeting him, the kids playing quietly in another room, his favorite channel on t.v., candles burning, you busily getting dinner ready, you not doing anything and just sitting with him, etc.

Give him time to think about it if you ask him.

If he gives you no answer, just focus on trying to please him and his 5 senses.  

My Hero...

Challenge
-Write down 3 things that you can dwell on to help make you think of your husband as your hero.  e.g. He desires to provide well for you, he is chosen by God to be your leader, he bought you _____, he listened that one time when you really needed to talk to someone, he lets you stay home with the kids, he lets you work in your desired field, he lets you put your cold feet on him, he still loves you, etc.

Love suffers long and is kind

-Challenge
-Even after suffering long, in little trials or huge fiascoes, BE KIND.

BFF's

Challenge
-Be his best friend today.  Whatever he is doing, you do it too.  Laugh at his jokes, listen to his stories, make his favorite meal, buy his favorite junk food and eat it with him after the kids go to bed, cheer on his sport's team with him, make a fort and make love in it, watch his favorite movie, etc.  
Be spontaneous and be fun!

Gussy Up

Challenge
-Do three things to your appearance that you know your would husband would enjoy

If you can't say anything nice...

Challenge
-Do not say anything negative to your husband all day.  
Do not complain about the children, the home, your work, the finances (or lack thereof), the food, the weather, illness, pets, internet, other people, his annoying habits, traffic, a company, etc. 
Do not make digs or hints.
Do not criticize anyone's decisions, especially his.

What if...

What if you feel like you have been trying so hard to be a good wife, but nothing in your marriage has changed?

What if your husband still treats you the same and you have thoughts of injustice, bitterness, and frustration?

Maybe you are focusing on the wrong man.

What about the man who has been watching you?

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Psalm 139:2-5

He is constantly thinking about you.

Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

Psalm 40:5

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

Psalm 139:17&18

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jer 29:11

He gives you flowers every spring and summer.

He will listen to you when your heart is troubled.  

He is faithful to the very end.

He loves you enough that he died for you.

He knows you inside and out.

He has asked you to respect and reverence your husband.  He knows everything that your husband does or doesn't do, everything he says or doesn't say.  He knows every decision your spouse will make, and he still tells you to submit to him.

He knows what your husband can become.  He knows you are the woman that will be the best help meet for him.  He has made you to be.  

Submit to your husband with joy because God has told you to.  Reverence him with thanksgiving because your first and best lover commands you to.

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:6&7

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Help Meet

Challenge
-Do three things that will be helpful to your husband

His castle

Challenge
-Do 3 things around the house that will please him

Honor him

Honor your man.  

Reverence his words and actions.  Stick up for him, even if you don't understand his decisions or actions.  If he is truly in sin, don't go running to your friends or support/prayer group to tell what he has done.  Guard him from dishonor. 

Men are constantly thinking about what others think of them. They are afraid of being impostors   

He needs you to help him, to tell him things will turn out right, to pray for him earnestly, to help him make things right when they mess up.

Even if he _____________(fill in the blank), you are to be his helper, his lover, his friend.  

Do not betray his trust.  Do not betray his love.  

He needs you.  

You are his good thing.

It is not good for your man to be alone.

Tell him he is strong, tell him he is your love, tell him you appreciate him.  

Build him up with words, touches, looks, food, and prayer.  He is yours to take care of.  

Make others think he is the best thing ever.  

Brag about him; don't tear his honor down.  

You bear his name and bring honor upon yourself when you hold him up.

Let it go...

Challenge
-Pick one things about your husband you would like to change.
Now give that one thing to God and commit yourself to not trying to change that thing in your husband.
Ask yourself if that thing is an important life issue.  
If it is, pray about it.  
If it's not, let it go completely.  
God knows your husband and every decision he will make.  Trust your man and let God deal with him.

His Favorite Things

Challenge
-Do something that is your husbands 'favorite'.  Wear his favorite outfit (or underwear), cook his favorite meal or dessert, watch his favorite TV show or sport with him, have his favorite radio station on when he comes home, do your hair his favorite way, etc.  

Thank you for...

Challenge
-Think of 3 things you are grateful for about husband, e.g. He is a faithful provider, he spends time with the kids, he doesn't hit you, he isn't a bully, he remembers your birthday, he helps others, etc.    Now pick 3 things you can do for him that will be your acts of thanks-giving.  He doesn't need to know you are saying thank you, but if he asks why you are doing it, tell him the truth.  

Dress for Success

Challenge
-Dress up for your husband.  

              Do your hair, put on make-up or lip gloss, put on his favorite outfit, put perfume on, paint your nails, etc.  Dress for your husband like you would dress if all your peers were to see you.  He is the most important person in your life.  Show him.

Love lists

Challenge
Pick one:
-Write down at least 5 physical things you love about your husband's body

Or

-Write down 15 things you love about his character

Respect

   Everywhere I seem to look people tell wives to tell their husband they respect them.  I have such a hard time with this.  I have little trouble with my actions.  I find it easy to alarmingly easy to reverence my husband when I put my mind to it, and am learning it submit with joy.  But how do I tell him I respect him?  Just say out of the blue, "I respect you because you change dirty diapers."?  It is so awkward.  I've tried it.  

   I have asked him what the best way for me to tell him I respect him is, and he just laughs and says I tell him with actions and submission.  But I want to do more!  This seems to be important for our husbands egos and a big deal. It's an even bigger deal for someone who can't get her words to go from her brain to her mouth without a mix-up.

   I can verbally praise my husband, thank him, brag about him, but the moment I open my mouth to voice my respect, my brain thinks, "This is stupid!".  How often have you heard someone say they respect someone to their face?  We say we respect someone's decision, or their property, but I don't think I have ever heard someone say "I respect you because you..."

   I am learning though.  I have found that it is easier for me to say things like, "I respect you as a man because of  your hardwork and persistence without frustration.", "I respect you as a father because of the time you spend with the kids." or "I respect you as a hunter because of your ethics.".  This is working so far. I have seen no sign that my husband enjoys hearing these things, or that they make him want to take on the world, like the books say.  But I'm working toward that place where I can say "I respect you." and mean it with my entire heart without a shudder of awkwardness.

   I do respect my husband!  I trust him completely and esteem him above any other person, I'm just working on telling him that.

Love Letter

Challenge
-Write your husband a love letter, full of reasons you are proud of him and respect him.  Hide it in his lunch, mail it to his office, e-mail him, hide it in his favorite pants pockets, etc.

Admiration and Attention

Challenge
-Learn when your husband is showing off; Ask him what it looks like when he is showing off.  (You might be surprised by his answers)
-Watch for these moments and appreciate his attention.
-Strive to be someone worth showing off for.

Help Meet

Challenge:
-Do three things that will be a help to your husband (e.g. Mow the yard, clean out the car, clean the area of the house he spends the most time in, encourage him on a project or goal he has, etc.)

Be not idle

Proverbs 18:9 He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.

Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

1 Timothy 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.


Challenge:
   -Be productive and diligent today!

Make him feel like the man

Challenge:
3 Things you can do to make your husband feel like the MAN
-
-
-

October ~ Eight ~ Twenty-Twelve

Today's Challenge
-Pick 3 of the following and perform them with excitement, not just willingness
      -Give him a love message (Text, e-mail, sidewalk chalk, lipstick, etc)
      -Pray for him
      -Let him know you appreciate him
      -Take a shower or bath together
      -Rub his feet 
      -Greet him at the door
      -Learn something about his favorite hobby, or better yet, help or cheer him on while he does it
      -Brag on him
      -Accept the compliments he gives you
      -Clean his car
      -Doodle his name
      -Make his favorite dessert

Ideas were taken from the following websites:
http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/02/100-ways-to-make-your-marriage-rock/
http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/101ways2sayiloveyou-husband

Actual Game Plan

   I actually have a printed out game plan calendar.
   Today looks like this:

Sunday   Oct 7   3 Things to my appearance that Luke will enjoy
                          -
                          -
                          -
          Titus 2:4  I will love Luke
               -

   It is inspired and influenced by Created to be His Help Meet.  If you have not read this book, I recommend it.
  The calendar has room for me to write down applicable things that I can do for Luke.  These are not things I would normally do anyway, but things I can go out of my way to do for my Man.

     Challenge:
       -Do three things to your appearance that your husband will enjoy
     

Learning Experience

    I have to admit that after the last post, the whole world seemed against me.  Following my own advice is not easy.  I was so stuck in a discontent rut by the time dinner rolled around there seemed to be little hope of turning the evening around.  I had been repeating thankfulness like a mantra all day, and it helped very little.  In order to pull myself out of this funk, I physically made myself put my husband first, doing what I knew he would enjoy and like.  In minutes our entire evening changed into a wonderful quirky sort of romance.
   I'm recording this as a learning experience.  I don't think being thankful has diminished in importance, but I do think that putting the other person first should be of utmost priority.  I should not wait for the right attitude to do something, but assume that the right attitude will follow the right action.

    Challenge:
-Do two things you know your spouse will enjoy

Be Ye Thankful!

   I have to admit that I struggle with a woe-is-me attitude in marriage.  It is so easy for me to fall into a martyr type mind-set, suffering through life and our relationship with a sad smile, hoping people know how much I sacrifice and how much effort I selflessly put in.
   In order to be suffering in the first place I have to be discontent.  (...be content with such things as ye have. Hebrews 13:5)  Being unhappy and ungrateful is a choice.
  It is not what God wants for me.

   Rejoice evermore.

   Pray without ceasing.

   In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

   We are to give thanks, in every thing, period.  If you ever didn't know what God's will was for you, there it is.

   No one wants to be married to a mopey person.  Become a joyful and thankful person for your husband to love.

   

Challenges:

-Thank God for your husband and children

-Thank your husband for two things he has done, is doing or provides

-When you begin to feel unhappy, discontent or like a martyr, stop and be thankful, then ask for wisdom

Welcome to the Challenge

This blog is written as both a place to keep myself accountable and hopefully encourage you in your marriage.  

Don't expect to hear stories about our marriage, good or bad; This isn't a place for me to vent disappointment or happiness.  

Every thing written here has been tested and proven.  It all works.  After a year of marriage I was miserable, though most people would have classified our marriage as good, or even great.  To be honest, I was not looking forward to the next 20, 40, or 60 years.  Knowing this was not how God intended marriage to be, I started seeking Him with a desire to know how to be a good wife.

God gave me answers in abundance and gave me strength to follow his instruction.  

Now, a year later, our marriage is wonderful, better than I thought it would ever be.  But I still have to make a conscious effort to be a good wife and help meet.  It is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it.