His Favorite Things

Challenge
-Do something that is your husbands 'favorite'.  Wear his favorite outfit (or underwear), cook his favorite meal or dessert, watch his favorite TV show or sport with him, have his favorite radio station on when he comes home, do your hair his favorite way, etc.  

Thank you for...

Challenge
-Think of 3 things you are grateful for about husband, e.g. He is a faithful provider, he spends time with the kids, he doesn't hit you, he isn't a bully, he remembers your birthday, he helps others, etc.    Now pick 3 things you can do for him that will be your acts of thanks-giving.  He doesn't need to know you are saying thank you, but if he asks why you are doing it, tell him the truth.  

Dress for Success

Challenge
-Dress up for your husband.  

              Do your hair, put on make-up or lip gloss, put on his favorite outfit, put perfume on, paint your nails, etc.  Dress for your husband like you would dress if all your peers were to see you.  He is the most important person in your life.  Show him.

Love lists

Challenge
Pick one:
-Write down at least 5 physical things you love about your husband's body

Or

-Write down 15 things you love about his character

Respect

   Everywhere I seem to look people tell wives to tell their husband they respect them.  I have such a hard time with this.  I have little trouble with my actions.  I find it easy to alarmingly easy to reverence my husband when I put my mind to it, and am learning it submit with joy.  But how do I tell him I respect him?  Just say out of the blue, "I respect you because you change dirty diapers."?  It is so awkward.  I've tried it.  

   I have asked him what the best way for me to tell him I respect him is, and he just laughs and says I tell him with actions and submission.  But I want to do more!  This seems to be important for our husbands egos and a big deal. It's an even bigger deal for someone who can't get her words to go from her brain to her mouth without a mix-up.

   I can verbally praise my husband, thank him, brag about him, but the moment I open my mouth to voice my respect, my brain thinks, "This is stupid!".  How often have you heard someone say they respect someone to their face?  We say we respect someone's decision, or their property, but I don't think I have ever heard someone say "I respect you because you..."

   I am learning though.  I have found that it is easier for me to say things like, "I respect you as a man because of  your hardwork and persistence without frustration.", "I respect you as a father because of the time you spend with the kids." or "I respect you as a hunter because of your ethics.".  This is working so far. I have seen no sign that my husband enjoys hearing these things, or that they make him want to take on the world, like the books say.  But I'm working toward that place where I can say "I respect you." and mean it with my entire heart without a shudder of awkwardness.

   I do respect my husband!  I trust him completely and esteem him above any other person, I'm just working on telling him that.

Love Letter

Challenge
-Write your husband a love letter, full of reasons you are proud of him and respect him.  Hide it in his lunch, mail it to his office, e-mail him, hide it in his favorite pants pockets, etc.

Admiration and Attention

Challenge
-Learn when your husband is showing off; Ask him what it looks like when he is showing off.  (You might be surprised by his answers)
-Watch for these moments and appreciate his attention.
-Strive to be someone worth showing off for.

Help Meet

Challenge:
-Do three things that will be a help to your husband (e.g. Mow the yard, clean out the car, clean the area of the house he spends the most time in, encourage him on a project or goal he has, etc.)

Be not idle

Proverbs 18:9 He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.

Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

1 Timothy 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.


Challenge:
   -Be productive and diligent today!

Make him feel like the man

Challenge:
3 Things you can do to make your husband feel like the MAN
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October ~ Eight ~ Twenty-Twelve

Today's Challenge
-Pick 3 of the following and perform them with excitement, not just willingness
      -Give him a love message (Text, e-mail, sidewalk chalk, lipstick, etc)
      -Pray for him
      -Let him know you appreciate him
      -Take a shower or bath together
      -Rub his feet 
      -Greet him at the door
      -Learn something about his favorite hobby, or better yet, help or cheer him on while he does it
      -Brag on him
      -Accept the compliments he gives you
      -Clean his car
      -Doodle his name
      -Make his favorite dessert

Ideas were taken from the following websites:
http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/02/100-ways-to-make-your-marriage-rock/
http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/101ways2sayiloveyou-husband

Actual Game Plan

   I actually have a printed out game plan calendar.
   Today looks like this:

Sunday   Oct 7   3 Things to my appearance that Luke will enjoy
                          -
                          -
                          -
          Titus 2:4  I will love Luke
               -

   It is inspired and influenced by Created to be His Help Meet.  If you have not read this book, I recommend it.
  The calendar has room for me to write down applicable things that I can do for Luke.  These are not things I would normally do anyway, but things I can go out of my way to do for my Man.

     Challenge:
       -Do three things to your appearance that your husband will enjoy
     

Learning Experience

    I have to admit that after the last post, the whole world seemed against me.  Following my own advice is not easy.  I was so stuck in a discontent rut by the time dinner rolled around there seemed to be little hope of turning the evening around.  I had been repeating thankfulness like a mantra all day, and it helped very little.  In order to pull myself out of this funk, I physically made myself put my husband first, doing what I knew he would enjoy and like.  In minutes our entire evening changed into a wonderful quirky sort of romance.
   I'm recording this as a learning experience.  I don't think being thankful has diminished in importance, but I do think that putting the other person first should be of utmost priority.  I should not wait for the right attitude to do something, but assume that the right attitude will follow the right action.

    Challenge:
-Do two things you know your spouse will enjoy

Be Ye Thankful!

   I have to admit that I struggle with a woe-is-me attitude in marriage.  It is so easy for me to fall into a martyr type mind-set, suffering through life and our relationship with a sad smile, hoping people know how much I sacrifice and how much effort I selflessly put in.
   In order to be suffering in the first place I have to be discontent.  (...be content with such things as ye have. Hebrews 13:5)  Being unhappy and ungrateful is a choice.
  It is not what God wants for me.

   Rejoice evermore.

   Pray without ceasing.

   In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

   We are to give thanks, in every thing, period.  If you ever didn't know what God's will was for you, there it is.

   No one wants to be married to a mopey person.  Become a joyful and thankful person for your husband to love.

   

Challenges:

-Thank God for your husband and children

-Thank your husband for two things he has done, is doing or provides

-When you begin to feel unhappy, discontent or like a martyr, stop and be thankful, then ask for wisdom

Welcome to the Challenge

This blog is written as both a place to keep myself accountable and hopefully encourage you in your marriage.  

Don't expect to hear stories about our marriage, good or bad; This isn't a place for me to vent disappointment or happiness.  

Every thing written here has been tested and proven.  It all works.  After a year of marriage I was miserable, though most people would have classified our marriage as good, or even great.  To be honest, I was not looking forward to the next 20, 40, or 60 years.  Knowing this was not how God intended marriage to be, I started seeking Him with a desire to know how to be a good wife.

God gave me answers in abundance and gave me strength to follow his instruction.  

Now, a year later, our marriage is wonderful, better than I thought it would ever be.  But I still have to make a conscious effort to be a good wife and help meet.  It is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it.